What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
