idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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