I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
As shirtless as possible
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
