Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
