dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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