I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
