we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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