im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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