Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
