Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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