My nipple is on Facebook.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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