God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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