Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize