i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
