theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
