I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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