you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
