i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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