You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
