I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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