Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You need a sexual gate keeper
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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