He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
