Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
