Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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