the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
