Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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