We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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