If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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