I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
