I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My penis needs a shock collar
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
