I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
