3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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