2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
They have beer where we have blood.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize