Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
