I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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