Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
