i can't believe i had my finger in that
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
