do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
