I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
