apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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