sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
