oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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