I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My penis needs a shock collar
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
