I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
