Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
