Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
