we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
