508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize