good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
