I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize