I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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