I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just forgot I was standing up.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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