I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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