I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
