I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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