Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
