he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
