his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize