i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
